Saturday, October 08, 2005

Water all over the ground, not a drop in my cup

The Eviscerator has been doing the blogging lately as I have had nothing but failure to report this week. Last Friday I rented a trencher from the Brownwood Home Depot as the only local one for hire was hired out. This means an hour’s drive to rent a tool and then back again. With crappy gas mileage and $2.85 gas that’s a chunk of cash there. Anyway, I got after it Friday evening as the job called for 750 to 800 feet of trench to be dug. Stephen and I worked past sunset to get as much done as possible.

Saturday morning came and the trench was completed. The part that was done in the dark is crooked, but serviceable. The trencher went back and we got the 1000 feet of 1” black poly pipe for the water supply line. It went in like a snap and Mitchell and I have the line all the way to the house at the end of the day. We charge it up with water and it all holds. A job well done.

Sunday, after church I went out to work on getting the line put into the house it was here that the fun began. I am working at the house and look down the line toward the meter and the trench is full of water. The connection at the meter had blown out and poured out 7000 gallons of water. On Tuesday the same happens in a different location and we lose 15,000 gallons of water. On Thursday it blows out in another location and it gets csught fast and we lose 1000 more gallons of water.

Now this 750 to 800 foot run of pipe may not sound like much, but it runs through three different fenced areas and there are no gates in line. To get from the house to the nearest field requires you to either walk 1000 feet to the west or climb through the part of the goat fence we messed up while trenching. To get through the next fence you either climb through the part of the goat fence the bull messed up a couple of years ago or you scale the fence at the corner. However, be careful of the barbed wire with this option as I tore a hole in one of my last good pairs of jeans Wednesday. But that is Wednesday’s story.

Monday I began to get the water into house. The connection through the wall in the laundry room (future laundry room) and then the set up through the wall to the existing but unusable water heater took a good amount of time as some drywall had to be installed in the future laundry room. The first stage of the line was set up and it turns out the bypass for the filter blocks the dryer plug. I just read through this and realized I have not blogged because this crap is really boring. Sorry about that.

As I worked on the water line I heard a clatter and turned to see a masked gunman holding Melissa hostage. He did not see me as I was looking through the hole in the wall. I crawled on my belly out the door and around the house. I cut the screen to our bedroom window open and heard the chattering of several men in the living room. I got the .38 Special I carry around when I walk in possible snake areas and slowly moved from the room to the hall. As I peeked around the corner into the living room I saw that the people talking were none other than Osama bin Laden, Jared from the Subway ads and Joe Montana. They were plotting to overthrow the government and enslave all of us in an Islamic sandwich republic where we would have to watch 49er games and highlights all the time. I rolled through the door and came to a shooter’s crouch. I got Joe Montana in the heart and bin Laden right in the forehead. Jared I hit in the leg. He does not deserve death as he has not killed any Americans that I know of nor dashed the Cowboy’s dreams of a Super Bowl.

Anyway, we poured out 23,000 gallons of water this past week because of various line breaks, I have had a hard time getting the leaks from poor joints fixed and it has gone much, much slower than I would ever wanted. Adding insult to injury, the last filter on the faucet went out Tuesday leaving us with drinking foul, rusty water or bottled water from the store.


1 comment:

heather said...

Um ... I actually had to back up and restart your ending a few times - I swore you said 'dream' or 'joke' in there somewhere, but nope ...

thanks for freaking me out!