Things have been very strange for me this pregnancy. I've had this feeling for a long time that we were having twins. I finally convinced myself that it was just one and then at my last prenatal appointment the midwife thought she felt 3 poles and heard a second heartbeat. Suddenly I was back to being sure there were twins. I even felt certain I could tell which baby was hiccuping when the hiccups occurred in different places. We were all very excited thinking God was giving us a double blessing.
So today we had an ultrasound and there was only one baby.
I've had ultrasounds before. It was always an exciting time and the kids were all there and we'd be happy and joke around and it was all fun and wonderful. Today was quiet. There were teary eyes and downcast faces. We didn't even enjoy seeing the little girl on the screen giving us a thumbs up. The only happy faces were Sam's and Joy's because they didn't understand twins and certainly didn't understand that we'd been wrong.
We all immediately went into denial thinking they just didn't find the other baby. But what are the chances of that? I don't really know. What I do know is that I want to be happy the day we have our baby and I won't be unless I accept that there's only one and do it now.
So it's been up and down and up and down. But we'll be up again when she's born. I feel like a spoiled kid on Christmas morning. I've received lots of wonderful presents and how do I react? "Is that all?" But my gifts are good and wonderful and better than I could have asked for. So nine will just have to be enough. For now.