Saturday, May 20, 2006

When I Became a Mom

Roger's out working on fences right now so the kids can get sheep. This is something they've been planning since Christmas and it just takes time to get around to everything out here. I guess that's true everywhere.

Meanwhile, I've been sitting in my bedroom sewing and restoring as much as I can on my computer. I just swap back and forth between activities whenever I have to change positions to be comfortable. (Still no baby and it feels like it's getting bigger!)

Last night the ladies at church had a baby shower for me. We received lots of adorable little baby things. And then there's the diapers. I love the smell of the diapers. My bedroom is filled with the smell right now and all I can think of is falling truly in love with my first baby. I do this every pregnancy. You know how smells can bring back such strong memories. There's something about being pregnant and smelling those newborn size unused diapers that brings back the memory of meeting Stephen face to face for the first time.

Of course, I knew I was having a baby, but what a shock it was to actually have a baby! He was so beautiful! I saw pictures later and realized he needed to be cleaned up, but I didn't see any of that when I first looked at him. I just instantly fell in love like I'd never loved anyone before. I cried with happiness then, just as I'm getting teary now remembering the moment. It was like my whole life finally had a purpose. I mattered now because I had this huge responsibility of bringing up this baby. I took it very seriously and still do. I can't believe it's been sixteen years already and I'm about to give birth for the ninth time. I don't expect to be as shocked to see a baby as I was then, but I expect to fall every bit in love with this new one as I did with Stephen. And I will still take the responsibility every bit as seriously. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful purpose in this life. I get the privilege of being a mom. I get to watch these babies grow up to be wonderful people. I get to enjoy the ups and downs of raising them. I get to share in special moments and help them through hard times. It's at times the hardest thing I've ever done and at times the greatest joy I could ever experience.

Now if I can just remember all this when labor gets hard. Assuming labor ever begins. . .

Melissa

1 comment:

Audrey said...

Hey Melissa...I had to laugh at the newborn "unused" diapers...yes those are the only kind that smell good...LOL

I have always said that Heaven is going to smell like Roses, Magnolias and newborn babies heads. I am a big smell person as well. I love smells...well some of them anyway!

I will be praying for you that you will be comfortable in these last days, they are the hardest.