Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day and the lie of it's the thought that counts

I thought that this Mother's Day might be good to share with you the story of perhaps the worst Mother's Day gift ever. I was around eight or nine years old and Mother's Day was coming up. I got my money and rode my bike to Greenberg's Drug Store and started looking for something for Mom. I didn't have much money, I was eight or nine years old and my allowance was 25¢ a week. So, fancy boxes of chocolate candies were out of the picture. Expensive perfumes and jewelry were also out of my price range. There was a cheap perfume that I could afford and there were some pantie hose that came in an egg. My Mom was kind of skinny and tall and I had no idea what size she was, but I knew enough to not get here hose that were for fat women and get her all upset on Mother's Day because I thought she was fat. I also knew hose that were too small would get her all upset over how she wasn't smaller, so the egg got put back on the shelf and I bought the cheap perfume.

The perfume was wrapped with great care and Sunday came and it was time to give Mom her gifts. I remember my Mom's Mom was there, so Ronda, Dad, Mom, Grandma and me all gathered in the den and gifts were exchanged. Ronda made Mom some art thing since that was her deal and Mom was all gushy over it. It was just some dang rock or painting or some such thing. It was now time for Mom to open my gift and I knew it would be a hit. I knew it because I had to buy it and I didn't just make it. Mom opened it up, quickly shoved it under the cushion she was sitting on, mumbled thank you and started talking about other stuff. I was shocked at the lack of appreciation. The perfume was feminine enough, the can said it was feminine. It was a perfume, isn't deodorant a synonym for perfume? Isn't spraying on perfume the fancy way to put on perfume? Years later I would understand why a can of FDS was not the best of all Mother's Day gifts. But it was that day when I realized that it never really is the thought that counts.

Happy Mother's Day

Roger

2 comments:

Janelle said...

Ha ha ha! That was hilarious!

Gail Heaton said...

you made my day!