I bet you think this is going to be about the kids, right? Nope. It's about me and my realization that I am growing up. I can't call this a mid-life crisis because I'm ONLY 41. I'm not half way yet.
I don't know about the rest of you, but Roger and I have talked about how we have a mental age that doesn't really necessarily match our actual age. When someone asks how old you are, you can give the right answer, but in your mind when you think about yourself, you think about yourself as a different age. When I was around 34 I realized I wasn't 22 anymore and had to make this leap in my mind. Now I'm 41 and my body is letting me know it. I am having to readjust that mental age again so it's been on my mind a lot lately.
I spent some time staring at myself in the mirror. I had to let myself know that it's okay that I am getting a few wrinkles and things are sagging now. I spend my days with young people. I've got a 13 year old and a 15 year old (okay, 31 days still of being 14, but she's close) in the house which seems to make this a little harder for me. There's this constant reminder that I used to wear that size and have that smooth skin, etc. Now there are spots and blotches bumps and rolls and things. It's kind of hard to adjust to.
I'm determined to not feel all the aches and pains that are considered normal as we age. I keep hearing that I have no choice, but I don't believe it. I've had a couple of episodes of arthritic pains in my joints, but I take my grapefruit seed extract or garlic or cut back on my sugar. It amazes me how well the body can heal itself.
I've been asked to share some of what I've learned and am learning about herbs and natural healing. I'll do that as I have time and think of something I want to share. There's actually tons of stuff I'd like to teach everyone about being healthy, but I don't want to sound like I know it all because I don't. But I'm usually willing to experiment with herbs more than I'd be willing to let doctors experiment on me or my children with their drugs. There are fewer side effects.
But back to aging. I got an email yesterday aimed at helping me feel better by showing me all these pictures of the beautiful Hollywood stars and how they are aging too. It didn't help because I realized that if they started out looking better than me and now they look that bad, it's just hopeless for me! But what is helping is realizing that I am 41 and I shouldn't expect to look 15 or 25 or even 35. And it's okay to grow up. And while I still want to take care of myself, I don't have to look like a Hollywood star. Even an old, saggy star. I just have to be healthy enough to continue to do what I need to do and enjoy my children and maybe someday some grandchildren.
I am enjoying the wisdom that comes with age. The reduced stress in realizing that not all of life is drama. The love and joy and memories that come with having lived a life and made lots of friends along the way. And this is a great time to also realize I have so much ahead of me. More memories and love and joy and things to do and people to meet . . .
I imagine this will just keep getting harder every time I have to readjust my mental age, but I thought I'd share in case there's anyone else out there who is feeling old. Maybe there is comfort in knowing you are not alone.